Saturday, December 27, 2008

Top 10 reasons Why India sucks at the Olympics

Yesterday, Tim Sullivan, an Associated Press writer, wrote a stinging article about India’s decades of mediocrity at the Olympic arena. And surprizingly, for a non-Indian analyst, he hit the nail on the head when he offered the most likely explanation of India’s Olympic debacle - “…The most likely explanation seems to be that India has paid little attention to sports other than cricket, and given those sports almost no funding…”.

Here are my 10 guesses as to why India, the mighty superpower-to-be of this century, is more like a teeny-weeny micro-power, when it comes to Olympic sports.

1. History -For the entire first half of the modern Olympic history that started in 1896, India was a British colony where life as an athlete was the last thing on most people’s minds. Even today, that British influence refuses to wear off, leaving its mark in the form of the British game of Cricket, a sport that has virtually destroyed any hope of any other sport gaining any traction in India.

2. Cricket -In India, Cricket hogs more coverage, more money, more political influence, and more time of people’s lives than all other sports combined. Generations of talented athletes have been ignored, left in poverty, forgotten by the state, and just left to rot, thanks to the Cricket brats who enjoy millions and give back zilch to the sporting world in return. Even this year, India’s highest honor in sports went to a Cricketer, extinguishing any hopes and aspirations of future track and field stars who might have been dreaming to be future Olympians.

3. Politics -Just as it corrupts everything else in this country, politics and the masters who practise it, have held most Indian sports hostage, by stifling funding, meddling with selection processes, and influencing sports awards. The head of India’s Olympic contingent is a career politician, and so is the head of India’s Cricket board. Personally and financially, it is a great achievement for them both. For the athletes who represent those sports, it is nothing less than a nightmare and a shame.

4. Bollywood -Bollywood is one of the strongest influencers of India’s public life. More than 99% of the movie scripts that come out of Bollywood deal with girl meets boy stories that are decorated with stupid dances and silly romantic songs which make for a great 3-hour escape, but also help people look the other way where people need to face reality. Over a 100 years, Bollywood has made probably less than 5 notable movies about sports.

5. Education system -India’s education system discourages sports and athleticism. Most youngsters interested in sports activities tend to quit early and join either medicine or engineering fields to be viable in the competitive job markets. The school-level sports seldom produce record-breaking performances, and there aren’t any proper scouting programs that can hunt good athletes out and groom them.

6. Generalized neglect and apathy and idiocy -Most Indians did not and probably still do not know the Indian who, for decades, was the only Indian to have won an individual medal at the Olympics. As against that, most Indians know, by heart, every name on India’s cricketing roaster for last 50 years. Khashaba Jadhav won India’s first wrestling honor at the 1952 games, but was forgotten for years, just like that. Just like that. And that year and the next and the next and for many thereafter, India’s cricketers had their asses kicked by every other Cricketing team on the planet, and they were our national heroes.

7. Generalized lack of national pride -Olympics is a time of pride for nations that excel at the games and a time of shame for those who suck at it. Indians have taken themselves out of contention even before participating. Even this year, as he left for Beijing, the president of India’s Olympic contingent told the press not to expect much from the Indian contingent.

8. All talk & No action-That’s our philosophy of life. If there ever were an Olympics for oratory, demagoguery, and eloquence, Indians would bring home all the medals. But sports is action and that’s a problem (even our action heroes talk more and act less).

9. Scriptures -We are into metaphysical Olympics, not physical Olympics. Our scriptures tell us that our bodies are just temporary mediums for our souls. So why exercise something that is not going to be around in a few years? Why not, instead, exercise the soul, and the mind? Oh, you want to run faster than me? By all means, my child. But what are you running from?

10. The Attitude - Actually, most Indians really do not give a rat’s ass as to which country won how many medals at the games. Most of us will enjoy the Chinese firecrackers, ogle at the female gymnasts, cheer for the dwindling number of Indians still in contention, and in a few weeks, will get back to the more philosophical and more metaphysical aspects of living.

Note: This is a beautiful article I read and enjoyed. Thanks "Indiatime".

Is India truly a SuperPower...?

The Greatest Comedy of the 21st century is India claiming itself as a Superpower.

Where as, America is a true SuperPower, because it holds the UN, IMF, UNESCO...and whatever you name it, in its tight control either by force or by its sheer manipulative methods and it is the only country in this world which can attack any other country saying these countries have dangerous nuclear weapons of mass distruction, but let us not dig deeper into the American political shit and focus now on why India, which always announces itself as a Superpower on every opportunity it gets, Sucks.  

Wikipedia defines a "Superpower" as a country that has the capacity to project dominating power and influence anywhere in the world, and sometimes, in more than one region of the globe at a time, and so may plausibly attain the status of global hegemon. But unfortunately, India is nowhere near this definition and depends on every small country around it for their favour.

Speaking with common sense, lets try to analyse the present "Mumbai Attacks". For example, In our apartment block, lets say there are 15-Houses, and if a resident, say "Mr.I" is attacked brutally and some of his family members are murdered by one of his neighbour "Mr.P" , then naturally speaking, "Mr.I" has three choices :

1.   He must be so furious, that he may go to any length to take revenge on "Mr.P", and kill every tom, dick and harry in his family. 
(or) 
2.   Report the matter to the Police and wait patiently like an idiot till they arrest"Mr.P".
(or)
3.   "Mr.I" must stop complaining and shut his ass with his own hands and remain silent like a moron without self esteem. 

The fact is : India has chosen the 3rd choice, which clearly proves that India is not a Superpower...but a Superpoor country ruled by impotent morons.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

India - A Comical Tragedy....

Its always amusing to write about India. A funny country of uncouth idiots ruled by equaly qualified morons. It has a heritage for blind faith and people here worship everything....right from, trees on dirty street corners, anthills frequented by snakes, stones, rocks and everything you could just think of. Whether one is a politician or a government servant or a private staff or whoever it is, Everyone here is Corrupt to the core and they love this country for one simple reason of convenience...CORRUPTION.